A visualisation that you can share with your children to help them let go of worries and fears; feel safe; tap into their own healing abilities; meet their power animals/beings; and enjoy their very own safe, happy place. All of which helps them settle down and have a good night sleep.
I have created a Children’s Handbook as a companion to the Visualisation, click the button below to view it, and print if you like.
Tips for incorporating this visualisation:
Getting comfortable and closing your eyes:
There are a few ways you can help your child to settle and focus for the White Light Sleep Tight visualisation. Some children like to snuggle with their parent, this can help to calm them down and relax. Especially if we are feeling relaxed, our nervous system will help to regulate theirs (The Neurobiology of ‘We’, Daniel J. Siegei). Your child may prefer a cuddly toy. Encourage them to select one and snuggle with it in bed. Your child does not have to close their eyes, actually my daughter often draws while she listens. Some children need movement to keep their brain focused. The message is, be flexible. Your children will hear what they need. If they miss a section, and it’s later needed, you can talk them through just that section. For example, if it’s lights out, time to go to sleep and your child is experiencing worry. You can listen to their worries, name them, and then talk your child through the process of putting them in the basket, and an angel taking them away to look after.
Angels:
It’s ok if you don’t believe in angels. It’s about your child needing to believe in something larger than they are. Psychology studies share that we have no proof of many concepts religion and spirituality teach (e.g. life after death). However there is a human need to have some form of faith in something larger than we are. Otherwise it’s all too scary for our minds to deal with. For children their worries are often so much larger than they are. There is so much they do not have control over, they are much more vulnerable than we are. They often need someone, something, more powerful, who in their mind can help with their worries. Children have great imaginations, that can run away with worries and fears and make a mountain out of a molehill. Harnessing their imagination and propelling it into a positive direction is what is needed here. We will need to help them recognise when they are going on a downward spiral. We will need to remind them often, to redirect their thoughts in a positive direction. You can do this by stepping them through the White Light Sleep Tight visualisation, or picking out the aspect they need and talking them through it. If your child is experiencing a lot of worries and fears please read my post on worries and fears for more information and strategies.
Protecting the house:
We are at our most vulnerable when asleep. Children often already feel vulnerable, they are smaller, not as strong and smart (yet) as adults. For many children it is also a time of separation from loved ones, many children need time and patience to adjust to time apart.
You can help your children to feel safe by stepping your child through what you both have control over, which is:
*Locking doors and windows together.
*Letting your child know where you will be in the house and assuring them that there will always be a safe adult (Mum, Dad, Grandparent etc.) in the house to protect them.
*Spray their room with the crystal spray (learn more about this here), to make their room feel nice with positive energy.
Then do White Light Sleep Tight. If needed you can step your child through the house protection component again. So that they can channel any worries of safety into imagining a powerful protection surrounding their home.
Colours:
I was debating whether to put this component into the visualisation or not, however my children really like this part, especially my daughter. They often call out what their colours are, I found this interesting as it offered me insight into their world and what they were needing. See general meanings for colours further down. These are the common meanings, however it can be even more insightful, if your children does the activity children’s handbook, where they add their own meaning for each colour.
If your child cannot think of a colour when doing the visualisation, then white is a great suggestion to offer, as it includes all the colours. So does black, so don’t stress if this is their colour. My children often have black as their colour. At times they also had a different colour every night, then they would go through periods where they had the same colours for a long period.
The common meaning for each colour is listed below (as written in the children’s handbook):
Brown: Earth, Animals, Nature
Red: Safety, Energy, Doing things you love, Achieving Goal.
Orange: Creativity, Feelings, Friendship.
Yellow: Power, Liking who you are, Fun.
Green: Feel love, Give love, Kindness, Healing, Good health.
Blue: Speaking and writing what you believe is true.
Purple: Imagination, Messages from your angels, Dreams.
Pink: Love, Caring, Gentle.
Silver: Balance, Trust, Healing.
Gold: Deep understanding of self and the world.
White and Black: Incorporate all colours.
Power animals and power beings:
Children often feel a strong connection to animals. Trans-disciplinary applied scientist Amy Alkon shared in a podcast (The Psychology Podcast with Dr. Scott Barry Haufman, How to Live with Guts and Confidence 7/2018) that when we try to apply a new characteristic, we can have cognitive overload, as the mind is overwhelmed with all the things it needs to remember (stand straight, don’t fidget, talk firm etc.), but when we act as someone, we more easily embody the characteristic we want. The power beings section of White Light Sleep Tight is for children to identify animals they need right now and to draw upon their strengths. In the children’s handbook there is an activity for children to think about an animal they can call upon when they feel sad, scared etc.
I have a friend that imagines that she has a dragon wrapped at her feet when she talks in public. It offers her the strength and protection she needs during a situation she finds stressful and intimidating. Adults can also do this, perhaps when we are feeling impatient that our child will not just go to sleep, we can think of a patient loving person or animal and embody their strengths.
Power beings are included in White Light Sleep Tight as children may want to call upon the qualities of someone they know, or a sports figure, a character in their favourite game or TV show etc.
When I was a child and struggled to go to sleep due to fears and worries, my Mum ended up getting me a fish tank to put next to my bed. This worked wonders! Many dentists and the like have fish tanks as it is thought that watching fish calms the nerves. I would fall asleep watching my fish. I think too, the white noise of the fish pump would have had a calming effect, and it masked any cracks and creeks which set off my fight and flight response. Additionally, it had a light, if I woke afraid in the middle of the night, I could turn on the light, and watch my fish. I was self regulating my emotions rather than needing to wake my parents.
A safe happy place:
A safe happy place is an enjoyable place you can leave your child as they fall off to sleep. Rather than letting their imagination taking them down a negative path.
Inquiring about your child’s safe happy place can offer insight into their world. My sons safe happy place used to be a metal box, that was triple locked. As he practiced to master his fears and worries, his safe happy place also transformed.
If your child is struggling to create their own safe happy place, you can co-create a safe happy place with them. If you need help doing this, you can ask your child of a place in nature that they really like, maybe somewhere they have been, or a photo they have seen. Then they can add what ever they like to the space, for example they might like to have a slide, or a hammock etc. There is a section in the children’s handbook where they can draw or add a photo/picture of their safe happy place.
Goodnight I Love you:
Children often seek connection at bed time. It is a time when they can feel most vulnerable. It can also happen if a child still needs to get their emotional connection needs meet. Which is often the case if we live busy lives, as many of us do. It can be very difficult to fulfill this need as we are often tired by this time too. If you think the second reason could be the cause of your child becoming clingy at bedtime, then look at ways you can incorporate some special time together before sleep time. For my family, I make the most of time in the car after school to explore my children’s day. We eat dinner together at the table and share highlights of our day, and then I or my husband reads to our children before White Light Sleep Tight.
When my children were younger they still wanted my husband or I to lie with them. For my first child I fell into a habit of doing this until he fell asleep. But then I was not getting the time out I needed. So I changed my approach to a ‘gently stretch them’ approach. If they asked me to lie with them I would do so but I’d say “little lie down”. If they struggled when I was leaving I would tell them that I would stay in line of sight (out of their room) but doing my own thing within sight, or I would assure them that I will check on them in a few minuets. I also found that playing calming piano music redirected their thoughts quickly.
If your child gets bored of the visualisation:
You might find that after a while of doing the White Light Sleep Tight visualisation that your child gets bored of it. This is when you can shake it up a bit. Each of my children have their favourite parts. My son really likes asking his angel for help, he has a special sequence he goes through of things to ask for help with. Actually he likes most of it but now that he is a bit older he does not do the Safe Happy Place as he then reads a book before sleep. My daughter however, likes the colours and the power animal sections the most. So if your child is getting bored you can remove sections.
As your child gets older and better at regulating their emotions, they are likely to only need a condensed version. Then they will get to a stage where they do it for themself, in their mind, or do the sections they need as they need them.
In my experience though my children still call on me to do white Light Sleep Tight every night. It has become a ritual of ours, a special time we spend together. The tools in the visualisation have all been very important at some point, however on the most part, now it is the connection this time brings that has become most important.
There are many visualisation books for children, you might like to start with White Light Sleep Tight, and then move into a visualisation from a book. I have found Libraries often have them. There are also visualisations you can find online, often free of charge. There are some great apps now too. My son particularly likes the free Smiling Mind app.
About this Visualisation
This visualisation was created for my son, to help him to settle for sleep, while feeling safe, loved and nurtured.
I draw upon my own childhood experience of feeling fearful, and struggling with going to sleep as a result. My son also needed to work through a lot of fears, and my daughter who has also gone through periods of stress, especially after a bush fire threatened our home and turned our back yard to ashes. As well as my professional experience as an art therapist, helping children to manage and overcome fears and worries. Additionally, working with parents within my community service based work, where I have heard many stories of sleep struggles, and where I have been able to offer guidance. I have an interest in psychology and incorporate science based outcomes into my work.
Incorporating a bedtime routine/ritual can help your children to settle down for sleep. When repeating the ritual night after night it will tap into your child’s biorhythms, therefore the more you do it, the more the body will go with the rhythm and it will release sleeping hormones and prepare your child for sleep.
Children also have very active imaginations, incorporating a visualisation will help to channel your child’s imagination in positive and supportive directions. You can read more about imagination and sleep in this post. I have some helpful pointers for you after the visualisation.
Good luck, and I’d love to hear your thoughts and experience.
Love, Light & Peace
Zoe.